What do you do when emotions flare?
What do you do when emotions flare, taking over your mind and mouth, and things get said that shouldn’t have been (even if there is truth behind the words)?
I am a strong advocate for communication. I have also long been a great hypocrite, ignoring my own advice and internalizing any and all feelings of hurt, anger, and sorrow. I know very well the damage that a black hole of negative feelings can do as it silently eats away at your core. It isn’t healthy, but we tell ourselves that we can keep it under control. We convince ourselves that the pain will subside and we will eventually find a way to get past it and move on.
Most of the time it doesn’t get better. Instead it becomes the foundation for an unstable existence. Sometimes, we lose control completely, and it explodes. The trigger is usually small, some trifling annoyance that tips the fragile balance of our sanity, and the next thing we know we are standing in the wake of destruction.
In the wake of destruction…
Nothing looks the same any more. You find yourself holding your breath, waiting for the inevitable aftershocks, knowing full well that the battle is not over. The counterattack could be, is likely to be, much worse. Your heart pounds and you taste bile rising in your throat.
You want to run.
Scenarios run through your mind as you plan a dozen escapes. You feel like you could (should?) just disappear. Embers of anger sit and smoulder but the rage of the fire is gone. The intense heat that flared so recently gives way to a cold so deep and sinister that it seems to come from death itself.
Run away.
You need to go. You need to at least hide. There is one small problem – no, one very big problem. There is nowhere to go. Hiding is temporary and childish. You know this, and yet you have nothing else in this moment.
Emotions…
As humans, emotions are our greatest strength and also our greatest weakness. It is not only the negative emotions, although those do play a strong role. There is dark to every light. The stronger the light, the deeper the dark that spawns from it. Intense love leads to extreme hurt, explosive anger, and anhialating destruction.
Taking a deep breath, you quiet your soul long enough to hear soft words.
This too shall pass
What is stronger than emotion? Faith. Faith in each other, that you can clean up the rubble and rebuild. Faith in yourself, that you can find peace. Faith in love, that the light can return and push back the darkness.
When emotions flare, taking over your mind and mouth, and things get said that shouldn’t have been… Remember that the dark is a part of the light. Remember that love is stronger than all else. Above all, let go of the thoughts that some (even all) of the hurtful words contained truth, for the only real truth is faith.